That Friggin’ Computer Had it Comin’

They said computers would make our lives simpler.  They said computers would change the way we work.  They said we would not be able to live without them. Bull.

Today I had to fill out a form.  Sounds pretty easy.  The form used to be found at the back of the Registry Act and I could just look it up and copy it anytime I needed it.  Easy – schmeasy.  In this technological age this simple task should be even easier.  Should be a snap.  Should be stress free.  Nope.

The form is not to be found anywhere.  And why is that, you ask?  Well you see, even though the regulations (found easily on the internet in a guaranteed up to date format) dictate that my application must be submitted in the prescribed form, the forms have been revoked.  In the pre-www world, I would know it all by just looking at the Act.  Today I have to rely upon the information found on the internet with nary an opportunity to talk to a real person – so there is not a real person to tell me that there is no prescribed form.  Arrrrggghhhhh.  Fill out the form – it says.  There is no form – it snickers.  Gotta fill out the form that does not exist – and it is not gonna tell you that it does not exist.  Something is going to have to pay for messing with my Friday mind.

So, after spending hours on my trusted machine only to find that this machine filled with false intelligence had tricked me, I snapped.   I am sure I heard the thing snicker at me.  I needed to yell and scream and throw things.  That contraption snickered at me at one of the lowest points in my life.  I had reached the end of my rope.  I needed to strike out.  A spider had the unfortunate timing of walking across my desk at a most inopportune time.  RIP Mr. Spider.  But it was not enough.  I needed to lash out.  My computer laughed at me.  It had it coming.

I remember my Mom always telling me that writing in a journal is a great form of healing.  With me being in need of some healing after this most stressful morning, I turned to my ever faithful Blog.  Sure that tapping away my frustrations would lead to a happier Crystal I opened up my site.  The first thing I did was to see if I could find an image of someone smashing a computer.  Well – guess what.  There are millions.  millions!  People smashing computers; kids smashing computers, cartoons smashing computers.  Hammers, chainsaws, chisels, fists, fish bowls, garbage cans and even keyboards – all taking revenge on these miserable machines.  Hmmm.  What does this tell us?

Well, business people hate them.  There was ample visual evidence out there showing me just how much the business world hates these little machines.  There is enough frustration out there that we could easily create a new teem sport.  Just look at how happy these folks look after a tough day of computer smashing.  Being a new convert to the sport I understand the sense of satisfaction from holding nothing back in this newly found sport.  Why even Donald Duck has entered the 21st century with a solid connection to technology.  He has joined the ranks in sharing this all consuming hatred for all things bits and bytes.  Donald, Mickey, Pluto, the Hulk, cute little penguins, even ladies of the cloth are depicted in states of massive aggravated assault on these bitty machines.  I rest assured I am in good company.

Now I am feeling a little bit less aggravated.  But if you happen to run into me over the next few days, offer serenity of stay out of my way.



Leave a Reply