Ten months and ten days. That is how long now the Cranch family has been focusing on kindness. With less that two months to go, I have to say I am growing a little tired of all this kindness talk. My kids no longer even blink when I offer them gems of advice like “If you change nothing….. nothing will change.” The enthusiasm seems to be waning for acting on another one of my kindness whims. 314 days of kindness, with 314 pages written in my Acts of Kindness book, and I am finding myself struggling to find unique ways of chronicling yet another act of chivalry or A-OK moment.
I have grown tired of being sweet with my words. I am ready to write freely with no thought as to how my words will be taken or if I am sending a “good” and “kind” message. It seems like it is time for a good practical joke and to hell with the idea that someone might get hurt. Bring it on monkey face.
Oh man — that felt good.
Oh yeah – well just punch him back. And make sure he does not get up!!
Be sure to let the door slam on his ugly ass face.
Don’t get mad. GET EVEN!!!
Be nice ….. to yourself!
Be kind whenever possible – to me.
Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see. Some guy with acute hearing and 20/20 sight wrote that.
Ooohhhhh. That was not nice, and I loved it.
To the person who left some colourful expletives etched into the frost on my car – may your hands freeze into a permanent “flipping of the bird”.
To the one who laughed out loud when I tripped on an electrical cord – I hope every lice ridden, germ carrying, mangy rat within a ten mile radius moves into your bedroom.
To the nasty teen who stole Halloween candy from a little kid, I hope you get a monstrous ooze infested, long long lasting zit right in the middle of your ugly mug.
I am on a roll now!
Forget about kindness unless I can spin it in my favour.
Me. Me. Me. Me. it is all about ME.
Let me share a story. A lady, who spent her whole life thinking of nobody but herself – a lady so selfish she truly believes others were put on this earth just to bring her joy – a lady so greedy that she attends church just to steal from the congregational offerings – a lady so self centred that she purposely seeks out ugly friends just to make herself look good – a lady so entitled that she invited Brad Pitt to her birthday dinner and when he did not show up, went viral on social media about the injustice – a lady— well you get the picture. One day this lady bought a lottery ticket for her sick sister. When the lottery ticket turned out to be the big winner, she took the prize for herself. She used the money to buy herself an extravagant lifestyle. She sought fame through fortune. She became a big socialite whom everybody adored. One day, she threw the biggest party of the year – an event everybody wanted to attend. And yes – she invited Brad Pitt, who was thrilled to send in an affirmative RSVP. On the day of the event, with the party in full swing, she made a big scene of turning Brad away at the door. Her guests applauded her, showered her with gifts and told glowing stories of her courage and strength. She lost all contact with her sick sister, who dies destitute. She never offered a single dollar of her vast win to any charity. She offered no acts of kindness. She lived only for herself.
Now….. in this year of AOK moments, this lady would see the light and make a 180° turn for the better. But in this anti-kindness blog, my lady friend will live happily ever after. She lives a long and luxurious life where she is even able to freeze her DNA in a form that will allow her to regenerate once the technology is discovered. She leaves her entire inheritance to her regenerated self so she can truly live happily ever after. What fun.
I think I am looking forward to Christmas this year. Family gifts are well in hand – just a copy of my AOK book and a smile. Stress will not be welcomed or even allowed at 12 Campbell Road. Relaxation and the pursuit of joy will replace the societal pressures of baked goods and extravagant gifts. Time well spent as opposed to money (not so well) spent will be the priority. And after a year of kindness, 12 days of mischief just might be in store for us. Add a splash of kindness and bring it on (monkey face).